My Most Complex Relationship

You could say I’m part of the select few – the ones who have a decent relationship with their parents. You could say I rely on them for support, but I think that’s constantly circumstantial and emotional, not in a financial aspect, really not at all anymore. That’s a good thing and kind of a not-so-great thing at the same time, but we’ll unpack that in another post.

You’re here for the tea, the real yet bitter truth. The hardest and most complex relationship I have ever had is not with my parents. But it’s a relationship that taught me and is still teaching me how much I have hated and how much I should and can love. It’s the relationship that has damaged me the most, but it’s also the relationship that has shown me I know how to forgive and can never really forget, but I don’t need to hold resentment for anything.

It's a relationship where so much was gained and so much was lost. There were promises made and many promises broken. It's a relationship where I wanted to give up many times but kept on coming back – a comfortably uncomfortable relationship.

This relationship has told me I can be me and that I needed to change. It's a relationship that held back but with time pushed through the tribulations. It's not an inspirational relationship, but it's one people still want to have.

It's the most painful, peaceful, accepting, loving, helpful, allowing, and dependable relationship – the most beautiful relationship one could have.

It's the relationship with myself.