Reflection: Then Vs Now
“All I can do is set an example of what that improvement looks like”
Privilege is something that I have come to understand differently than most. In a way, I have been fortunate in some aspects and blessed in others.
Side Note: I have experienced a twitch in my eye over the past couple of years. It might be related to stress or my body's way of warning me to pay attention to something. I'm not sure what that something is yet. To say that I have been working more than usual in the past few months is the truth. It's not an exaggeration to say that I could be working even harder. This may be contributing to the twitch but I have so many expectations for myself, which is not bad but can be had in a healthy way.
However, I have often hit the ground running and stayed there for longer than necessary, waiting for someone else to notice or question my absence. Finally, as a mid-twenties adult, I have reached an age where I need to accept what is, what I can and cannot do, and work towards improvement.
I felt a burning desire at 12:35 pm today (or last week when I wrote this) because I understand the need to continue with my commitments, not only for myself but also for my family and those who have invested in me.
In high school, I remember writing my college essay about the hurricane that was my life. Looking back, I realize that comparison only scratched the surface, lacking the depth of truth. The words I wrote did not fully convey my feelings. I wanted to evoke emotions like pity, heartbreak, loneliness, loss, perseverance, resilience, and love.
Nowadays, I do not wish to relive those experiences because, in a way, my family and I are all doing well in our daily lives. Of course, we can always improve, and that's what I strive for. All I can do is set an example of what that improvement looks like and not tarnish that image. I strive to be better than I currently am. The last thing I want is for others to worry about me, especially since I am the most composed person in my family.
Despite my reservations about sharing details of my relationships, finances, and business with them due to their lack of healthy habits and experience my parents have, I am grateful to have people in my life with whom I can share these major concerns and who can provide valuable guidance. My mentors, who even my dad recently expressed his appreciation for, they are individuals I have worked hard to connect with.
I worked diligently to establish these connections, and while I haven't always maintained them perfectly, I have learned so much throughout the process. I have become a better person through this journey, and I am still evolving because I refuse to be left behind. I aspire to be part of their legacy and to be one of the best, if not the best, of partnerships they have cultivated within the association they have built.
The reason I wanted to reflect and talk a little bit about then vs. now is because it is important to understand why one started and where one currently stands. There is so much I aspire to share - the imperfections, failures, mistakes, and experiences that have shaped me as a person, and continue to do so. I aspire to be an example of what our society needs: relatable and transparent enough to inspire others to become better for themselves and those around them.
I understand that there have been times when I wanted to give up because of the purpose I have felt so distant. However, it is often closer than we think, as it was placed in our minds. It is the closest thing to our soul, and the energy behind it calls to us. All things appears in the form of a thought or idea for a reason. We are meant to act according to our callings, to fulfill our purpose, to have faith, and to believe in what we can do. Our responsibility is to share it and continue sharing it until it becomes something physical and larger than we had originally imagined.
To some, manifesting callings and purpose may seem challenging. To me, anything is possible, but I have also dreamt a lot and dedicated time to making things happen in my life.
If you find the right support system, like me with my mentors and association, you will certainly succeed. Think about it: what and who can you seek out and talk to to make taking action toward your life goals more accessible? Reach out your hand and make it happen, nothing changes— if nothing changes.
