Communication with Yourself
We can all become better at being kinder to ourselves.
Part 1
Awareness and your cognitive behavior will play a major role in understanding how you communicate with yourself and your self-image. Are you conscious of the thoughts and actions you engage in daily?
85% of the world's population is affected by low self-esteem.
How often do you contemplate your thoughts and break them down to understand their origins? When and where did these thoughts truly begin?
If you can do this, you will uncover patterns.
From personal experience, there have been periods in my life where I neglected myself, and I still do occasionally. This neglect stems from a place I once wanted to ignore and hide from the world outside. This neglect I experienced was a clear example set for me by various individuals and adults during my formative years.
I observed this and thought it was acceptable to mistreat my mind and body. These habits are difficult to break free from because they appear easier to allow to persist rather than eliminate from my life completely. My reasoning behind it is that I was holding onto an excuse to remain close to the comfort of the past.
As I've gotten to know myself over the years, I've noticed that I am hypersensitive to stimuli, and my senses occasionally lead to sensory overload. Whether I like it or not, by being this way, I've learned to adapt to living 'normally.'
This may be related to some undiagnosed mental health issue I might have, but I haven't reached the point in my life where I've undergone actual testing. Additionally, it's a journey we are all on, and much of the society is still new to the concept of getting tested and diagnosed for various issues and having to adjust to 'living' with them. This topic is not a light one, and I've personally witnessed many of these mental health issues, even within my own family.
However, understanding how you can live better and what you need involves realizing the necessity of talking to yourself and becoming more conscious of the actions you take daily.
Regardless of your current circumstances and the challenges you face, it ultimately comes down to the beliefs instilled in you.
One simple thing you can immediately implement into your life is knowing your love languages and how to fill your own cup, rather than relying solely on others.
Consider these aspects when you're not feeling good about yourself. What are you doing, and what are you not doing?
Do you now your love language(s)? There are five of them.
According to the book called 'The Five Love Languages' by Gary Chapman. If you haven't read the book, that's okay, but I strongly recommend you do. Allow your mind to open up to understand why some relationships and communication fall short. An essential point is that everyone is different, and we all respond to situations and experiences in entirely different ways. While this might seem like common sense, people still sometimes treat each other poorly, particularly themselves. Take a moment, especially for yourself.
If you can, first thing in the morning, spend a few minutes with yourself. You will begin to notice a significant change in your mood and how you respond to the world beyond yourself. These three things can make a significant difference in getting to know yourself and improving communication:
Dedicate a small part of your day, a time you can easily track, to pay attention to the thoughts circulating in your mind.
Journal your thoughts or simply reflect in writing.
Take a moment to think about how you are responding to yourself. Slow down your breathing and just be. Be where you are, whether sitting, standing, or thinking, and take a moment to analyze your inner dialogue.
We can all become better at being kinder to ourselves.
By implementing these small practices, we can begin to understand why we react strongly to certain people or why we choose to overeat, even when we're full. I'm learning these things too. Believe me when I say I used to think it was easier to ignore them than to confront the fact that I was wrong. I wanted to disregard myself and listen to the negative voices on my shoulder telling me to forget it, not to worry, and that no one would notice. This is a lie; you notice because it reflects into the world, and you start to feel the world is against you. You begin to question the meaning of it all and may even consider yourself a lost cause. The downward spiral is endless simply because you held the door open and the person didn't say thank you.
When you begin to understand that you are you, and people outside of you are complete beings with different ways of thinking, you can think beyond your own perceptions and act based on who you know you are. The external world won't affect the inner world because you're already sure of who you are and what you bring to the table.
When you begin to understand how self-esteem affects your people-pleasing tendencies, attitude, and overall perspective on your life, you'll be able to disconnect the cable that causes cognitive dissonance (mental conflict when your beliefs don't align with your actions). In today's society, this has become somewhat of an epidemic. I am still recovering from the symptoms, but, as with many things, the first step is awareness.
This is just part 1 of communication with yourself.
I will be sharing more on this topic, providing additional examples and discussing what I have implemented in my own journey of self-communication. For now, if you take the time to think and adopt these three steps, your relationship with yourself will be transformed.
