taking control of my mind and shifting perspectives | Reset Series Ep.1
*This is a written part of a video series I have on YouTube.
People tend to hate school.
I used to think I did.
As an adult, I understood that there was a good thing about it. School it was structured.
I see why many of us struggle with the freedom of choice in how we use our time.
We find it hard to stick to things because most of the time we are not going to see major repercussions fast (although we may in the future we can go more into that later)
We won’t get punished fast, we won’t get bad grades that follow us.
Unless we are not doing the job we are getting paid to do or something along those lines.
Here is the point, outside of work (“school” was replaced) no one is forcing us to show up on time and do things, we now do the bare minimum if we do not like our job, etc.
Here is the real point, the structure that school provided for us in various areas is no longer there unless we create it for ourselves.
After I stopped going to school and realized years later how grateful I was for it because it kept me trying and learning new things, it kept me after, in school I was more active because of sports. It was good for me.
Nowadays as an adult, convincing myself to do something good for my physical and mental health is a drag.
When I finally get to do those things that are good for me, mentally I am telling myself at the moment that I should continue that and do it more often, yet I DO NOT.
Frankly speaking, I have not committed myself to having the discipline necessary.
Last reset post, I might have mentioned how I would go into detail about the achievable’s I had last year and how I barely made progress.
Before I go any further on this, I want to make sure that we do not put ourselves down here for not reaching where we wanted to, because I am.
It is essential to acknowledge where we fall short to work from there. We are talking mentally, and it has taken me a long time to understand that progress is not linear, as cliche as it sounds. It resembles mountains: When you get to the top of one, you see that there is another one even higher to come.
My achievable’s are below:
1. Therapy —Counseling session 1-2 times a month
On occasion, you need an unbiased opinion to weigh into your life. Not many of us have people willing or feel safe enough to tell us some truth about ourselves and how we can improve. But this is something we need.
Last year I started the year with a therapist but she was not a good match for me, I realized this a bit late when I saw myself being triggered by certain things she would tell me rather than helping me work through the struggles I had.
If you are looking for therapy and it is your first time doing so, a piece of advice I will offer to those who want to take it is:
Do not feel the need to stay with one therapist just because it is your first one and it is convenient
Shop around and make sure you connect and feel as though you can learn and overcome. I won’t go into much detail about my last therapist but I will just say— we were not a match and sometimes it is best to just look into alternatives
Key points:
make sure they listen,
make sure they work things out with you,
make sure you do not feel like you are reverting to habits you left behind,
make sure you can talk about those feelings and actions of reverting.
2. Reading and listening (24-30 books in a year) — Find the real audios/podcasts that fire me up.
I had a big goal at the beginning of last year.
No, I did not make it
I do not even keep track of how many books I read and listened to.
probably like a solid 5-10 (maybe more but more than 5 haha)
One thing I am constantly always doing is taking notes and learning from podcasts and videos from my favorite content creators.
Self Study Through Media — One thing I can attribute to this achievable is, that I have learned more about myself through self-study and allowing myself to be in a constant state of learning— one thing for sure I can say is to stay curious, uncovering feelings and emotions can help you heal in ways you might have not thought of if you did not seek out other perspectives.
Another thing, I watch videos, shows, and movies– as an empath, I resonate with people or characters in such a way that sometimes they help me further understand emotions I have had in the past that I could not articulate or pin down as something I was experiencing until that point.
Media in different forms is a blessing. If you do not usually look deeper into those things when consuming content. I suggest you look and put yourself in the person's or character's shoes.
Building my spiritual foundation.
Discipline is a big one here.
Do not expect me to speak a lot on this, I am still what I consider a beginner and I am not one to push or force my beliefs onto others. I only want to put respect out there for your personal beliefs and let it be known that in this space you will not be disrespected for it.
When I say I have had a tug of war with this and at this point of the year is when I am finally getting to a new starting point. Spiritual growth is a journey in itself and can take a lifetime. I am just glad that I am at a turning point where it is constantly on my mind and I will leave it at that for now. If I feel the need or if there is more curiosity around it, I will take more on it but it will take me some time before then.
4. Develop my hobbies.
This is one of my favorite things to talk about, I love learning new things.
I started writing more this past year, and poetry being a main subject. I am not that great at it but I think it is such a beautiful way to communicate feelings and emotions that may have been left unsaid.
I joined a group to be more social also to put myself out there to meet someone in person but we’ll talk a little more about this in Ep. 4 — Relational.
This group is exposing me more to the city I live in and its amazing views and venues. I really enjoy it. I am getting to meet people and I am enjoying it a lot. But something I have found is that connecting— genuinely is harder post covid still, although we have technically been out off it for more than 2 years. Of course there are many factors as to why people are still not as comfortable. It is a challenge I know all of us as a generation are going through collectively.
I started learning how to play tennis. I have dedicated more time to volleyball this past year and I expect to pick it up again this spring. I went to the gym this year more than last year. I am actively looking to get a better habits. I will go into more detail in next Ep. 3 — Physically.
My body has changed physically in some sense but there is so much that goes into it and I am still going through it, it can be a series of its own.
This is currently where we are now mentally, see you on the next one.
