The Real Control You Have

Hội An, Vietnam

There is a light that will always reflect on a malleable surface when all around it seems dark.

Having faith that things will be good is hard.

This is why the underdog doesn’t give up and they are usually the heroes in most of the greatest stories ever written and told to the masses.

Despite all odds, the main characters tend to prove themselves right to those who doubt them repeatedly.

The ability to steer one's emotions, thoughts, and beliefs in a positive direction is an elite skill many underestimate the power of.

A couple of days ago, I was with a new friend and I was telling them about some changes that are happening in my life. The language I was using was of certainty that my circumstances would pan out the way I wanted them to. I go by the principle of what you expect, you receive. As my new friend responded to my words, I started picking up on their questioning tone and choice of words.

A few minutes was all it took for me to assess and affirm that I could block those words. I know I do not need to take them personally because they are using their own life’s rosy lens. It was evident that their experiences made them, in a sense, more pessimistic.

I could understand where they were coming from, as they had been in a similar situation as mine. At this point, I began to comprehend that a few people will speak into your life for various reasons.

Still, those reasons are not mine to decipher or pin those negative to the front of their mind to help them overcome. Unless they specifically ask for help.

People focus a lot on their own lives, and looking outwards is more often than not something that they have yet to consider of greater importance when it comes to others. 

Considering they are a new friend, we are still building trust and I have not had the opportunity to address these concerns. Not just for me to feel comfortable in this friendship but for their outlook on how their life can be a little better with a shift of perspective.

Self-awareness is used too loosely nowadays.

Through multiple years of observation, mostly throughout my adulthood, I have developed an objective and non-biased basis for assessing a collective of people.

Many adults do not educate themselves beyond their careers or trades. They barely read and do not consume content that enhances their understanding of the human condition.

During my college years, I did not value writing as much as I do now. Now see the importance of language and literature like expression, and analyzing the characters through it. The capability to effectively question which I am working with myself to get better at, and realizing this was taught in philosophy classes I took. 

Education was a default system, which was not important to me, but I followed all the rules set. Here and now, I understand why it is a right many fought for.

Do not get me wrong. I enjoyed some of those classes and, on occasion, some assignments because I needed to apply myself and think. 

In my last year of college, I started reading books outside the curriculum, specifically nonfiction, which is a bit more forward-thinking and thought-provoking.

The conscious decision to do so was based on my constant observation of adults as examples of what I did not want my life to become. Considering I saw this early on, I am grateful for the headstart.

Although I still had a long way to go in terms of growth, at that time, I noticed I was starting to embark on a journey in which I had to begin by going against the current.

Nowadays, few people even consider pursuing an education of self. Getting to know oneself is not a priority, but the secret is that mastery of self is more valuable than a PhD. The value scale in our society today is distorted, adding to the major reason why people consider others toxic, narcissistic, and inadequate when it comes to being decent human beings.

We have forgotten the root of it all lies in finding our true selves.

The bottom line is that the pursuit of a higher self is priceless. There is a reason why this concept has been taught for ages, with the greater good of humanity in mind.

Little efforts add to significant change within oneself when we do not hold negative space and are not always on defense. Instead, presenting ourselves as open and receptive can do more good than harm.

Reflecting and using what happens as examples for a lesson that may seem neverending, until you figure out you can test out of the course.

Life, though, still comes with recertifications, when needed.

Understanding that your mastery of self brings about more peace. Resistance will still exist within peace but not in a chaotic way, it shows itself through golden opportunities that only come to those who intentionally seek them.

For those whose resolution is owned by them, peace will be a shield to protect and it is what you have control of when you know what you give, who you are, and who you continue choosing to be in this ever-turning world.